May 8, 2011
Today is the first Mother’s Day since my Mom passed away in March. I’ve been asking for other people’s memories and stories about her, so I thought I’d better share a few things too. Happy Mother’s Day Mom!!!
5 THINGS MY MOM TAUGHT ME
Patriotism
people
time
experience
Faith
Below are five (of the many) things my Mom taught me. I could probably write a chapter on each topic instead of just a paragraph, but this will suffice for now.
Patriotism
Mom loved America! July the 4th, Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day, Labor Day, Veterans museums, and National Monuments and Cemeteries. She had a deep abiding sense that this country was great, and that we needed to honor it. Mom never served in political or military service, she never did anything outstanding on a National level, she simply did what she could do in her local sphere of influence. And of course, she was quite diligent in trying to teach us about honoring our country, too. As a family, we celebrated National holidays, we hung our flag with pride, she always wanted us to stand for the National anthem, even when it was just playing on television. Mom was always interested in things about the country and National pride. She gave speeches on the ways to fold the flag and what each fold stood for, she studied and gave a speech on the WWI Veterans memorial in Concord, she spoke and wrote about Presidential tid-bits, National trivia and she was eager to learn more and pass on what she had learned. When Mom and Dad came to my graduation in Virginia, we spent a day in Washington DC going through the Smithsonian’s and Arlington National Cemetery. It was a great day and place to experience so much about our country. Mom never served her country on the battle field, but she served her country in the way she could, on a day-to-day basis within her own sphere of influence.
Dealing with people
I had the opportunity to work part-time with my Mom for three years while I was a student at DVC. We often commuted together, and as always, she was in a talkative mood. We worked in different departments, but knew many of the same people. Mom was pretty good with her intuition, and she would often discuss the office politics and people and what was really going on behind the scenes. I was just a newbie in “Corporate America,” but I soon discovered there was a lot going on at work besides work! Mom would often make an assessment about someone and given enough time, it would eventually prove to be true. I paid attention to Mom’s assessments over the years. She wasn’t always right, but she was right more often than not. Mom wasn’t just assessing people, she was teaching me that if you understand people, then you will know how to deal with people. Mom was a “people person”, she loved gathering groups together, but she also loved meeting with people one-on-one. Since Mom’s death, many people have sent in stories about her spending time with them and just talking over lunch. Many people have told me that she was one of their best friends. She could only be a great friend to so many people because she knew people and cared deeply about people.
Time with people is important
Mom was always gathering groups of people together for every kind of event, party and celebration. I actually grew tired of a few of her events, but it’s hard to say no to Mom. Birthday parties, holiday gatherings, church functions, school groups, nothing was off-limits; we had everything but annual Ground hog celebrations. There was always a good time to be had, and time with people always turned out well. I enjoy a good party, but I can also enjoy solitude, time alone away from the crowds. Mom could only be alone for so long before her “party addiction” took over and she was planning another event at JuhalaLand. Time with people was not just about the party, it was the conversations, the experiences, getting to know someone else, inviting someone new and making them feel welcome. That’s what she taught me, time with people always turned out well. She also taught me that if someone invites you to an event, you should probably go (see the next lesson for more about that).
Experience life, even when you don‘t feel like it
I can’t tell you how many times during my high school years that I was invited to go somewhere and said, “I don’t feel like going” or “I don’t want to go.” She would always talk me into going, using her own persuasive techniques, she never said you absolutely must go, but somehow she always got me to go. Once I got there, I always had a good time, sometimes, even a great time. It wasn’t until after high school that I finally came to the realization that, “I don’t want to go, she gets me to go, I have a good time, so why do I not want to go?” From then on, she didn’t have to talk me into going anymore. When I was younger, my hesitation was that I simply didn’t want to go to some event. Today, the issue is that I don’t want to go because I’m so busy or I’m so tired. But Mom’s encouraging thoughts are still true no matter what the reason for not wanting to go. If I just get up and go, I almost always have a good or great time. So the next time there is something to experience, just get up and go, even if you don’t feel like it.
Faith
Of all the things Mom wanted to teach me, Faith was the most important. Mom was never a pushy Evangelist, but she was pushy about going to church, there were no options there. We went, and we were involved. If there was a need, somehow we were involved, be it a church work day, helping a member, serving, volunteering, doing an outreach, or having a party at our house, we were involved. But that was all the “works” part of her belief. There was also the Faith part. She had the works part down pat, no dust settled on her, but fewer people saw her quiet faith. I’m sure many people could comment on her faith that they saw in action, or the conversations they have had with her over the years. I saw her faith lived out in the way she and Dad raised the family, I saw it when she would read a scripture card every morning from her childhood “Bread of Life” scripture cards. I saw it when I would wake up early and find her praying on the couch. I heard it in our conversations about a sermon, a family member, a friend or the news. She really did believe in God and His teachings.
She lived her faith each day-
She taught her faith to her children-
She shared her faith with others-
She supported her faith financially-
She worked her faith by volunteering-
And now she has been rewarded in her faith through death.
Mom has taught me a lot, maybe she has taught you a few things too. If so, I’d love it if you could share them.
Jeff
